StorySitting1. Pick the easiest way to talk
Sitting together at the kitchen table is best: you can see their face, and photos and objects bring stories out. If you live apart, a phone call works well too. Many older people are more relaxed on the phone than in front of a camera.
2. Record it, with their OK
Ask first, every time. It's kind, and in some states recording a phone call needs everyone's permission. At the table, a phone's voice memo app is enough; set it face up between you. On a call, use a call-recording feature or app, or put the call on speaker and record on a second device.
3. Ask one good question, then listen
Start somewhere easy and concrete: the house they grew up in, how they met their partner, their first job. Then follow what they say. Here are over 50 questions that tend to get real stories.
How to get the good stories
- One question at a time. Then wait. The best part often comes after a pause.
- Chase the concrete. "What did the kitchen smell like?" gets a story. "What was home like?" gets a summary.
- Follow the tangent. If they wander, go with them. That's usually where the story is.
- Record it. Their voice is the part you'll want most later. Ask first; most phones can record a call or a conversation at the table.
- Don't correct their memory. If a date sounds off, just ask about it. It's their story.
- Keep it short and come back. Half an hour is plenty. Another day brings different stories.
4. Turn it into something the family keeps
Recordings are precious but rarely replayed. A written version gets read, shared and passed down.
- Save the original audio somewhere safe, with the date and who's speaking.
- Transcribe it (by hand or with a transcription tool), then tidy it into paragraphs in their own words. Take out the ums and repeats; don't add anything they didn't say.
- Add a photo or two and a title. One story at a time adds up to a book.